Rabid Rants

Have you ever been in a situation where you look at someone and simply think: What are we?
 
That's not just couple talk, although, I have run into that quite a few times. I mean, when one person looks at another and labels them- friend, love interest, enemy, aquaintance, and only after awhile sees that they've changed and cant place them because they're too....unplacable, what do we do? Do we keep them hanging in that limbo inside our minds and bypass them, keep them in some special place in our hearts because they've become what we thought they couldnt?I mean, to see this external change in our own human natures has got to be an offset to most. But how do we get out of that limbo? How do we get back to a cement place where we can once more host our feelings for this person?
Or is that what pure love/relation/hate/loathing is based off of? Nothing? No grounds for reason of the other person?
Einstien himself said that "Condemnation without investigation is the height of ignorance" so it makes sense that this limbo exists, to prove us wrong, to make us uncomfortable that we missed all that they could be. That I missed that originally dorky looking boy sitting across the room, that we never thought that one message could brighten up my day, or holding his hand during the Our Father could make me feel so... secure? I don't even know what I felt but it was stable. But I don't know how to deal with it. It wasn't programmed into my head that I should automatically see him as this vision of a white knight to rescue me- dear god I'm getting cliched and rambling, so I'll move on.
This Limbo... is it truth? When we see something change, in that moment of change do we see ourselves and what we've done wrong, and what we can do to make amends? Is it a chance for us to make up our faults and try again with the next phase, the next level to which we can reach higher better, maybe fall flat, but restart again with this hope in mind? Does the curtain pull back for us enough to either blind us in light, or show us the truth? i'm rather unsure myself, and it's scary. Nothing stays the same for any amount of time. We can't go back to life before today, I'm sure many want to. We can't go back to easier classes, to make choices that would make our lives easier now. I can't go back to that feeling of stablility until that change is over, until I know what I am, what I'm doing. What we are, and what WE'RE doing.
And I'd pay anything in the world to know what that is.
So...are we human.... or are we dancers?

 Oh. My. Gawd. 
Only five more french classes left. 
Not even. 
Three. 
And they're Review classes and classes that are used to gage the potential of new teachers. 
I have NEVER been so happy in my life. This also means that I only have six chinese, chemistry, english, history, and stuff. YAY!  However, it's kind of saddening considering my summer is lookin' kinda bland. Oh well. I'l  just hang out at the park or something. 
     In the RP world I'm staking more of a presence and pwning everyone, mainly because my writing style adjusts to RP well, especially defense. I'm rather adept at taking a situation and molding it, not necessarily starting one myself.  Which segways pretty good into my next rant. 
    How the heck do I find the time to start a relationship? I mean really? As soon as one pops up my schedule clamps down. This is highly irregular and unwelcome. What happened to my down time???? T-T 
  In the fanfiction world, there will be geass fics. After watching the 18th episode of R2, I've flipped out about everything. I was running around the house speaking in tongues I was so...frazzled. It's all Lelouches' fault, really. Suzaku has the geass on him so it's too... BAH!!!!
GAH!!!
*shot*
I'm going to go find my Suzaku plushie now and calm down. Maybe get lunch.
Yeah. Lunch.
~Energy 

Since no one probably reads this on a daily basis, I've decided to put some raw truth out there about me. 10 facts that actually may effect daily life.
This is a test to see who reads my blog. Inbox me [energy] on facebook.

10. I cry myself to sleep, for various reasons, on at least a weekly basis. (Sinus infections suck, BTWs.)
9. I'm kinda getting into Yaoi
8. I'm frustrated when people push me aside
7. I hate it when teachers confront me
6. I have actually known the feeling that everything and everyone in the world is eating your soul and that no one can save you
5. I know the feeling of someone saving you from number six, accedentally on their part.
4. I DONT CARE ABOUT SCHOOL!!!
3. I'm too polite to tell people to shut up.
2. I have gotten over K.G.
1. I am CATHOLIC, people.

Yeah. There are some worrying things in there, but if you read number five, It's all cool now.
It's an interesting feeling when you've been used to physical pain in your chest from too many emotions every day since the eighth grade. It's a very good feeling. 
*nods*
Anyway, inbox away!    ; ] 

                    Seeing that I haven't posted in awhile only makes my mind want to write my opinion more. Not just on one specific thing... more like actual ponderings of the world, human nature, fanfiction, and things like that.
To start, I figure I should bitch and rant a little, considering my spring break is over with. It lit. makes me want to cry, seeing as I really wanted at least another two days. (*Hasn't started chinese homework yet*) Although, to does give me a reason to bring back everything I've learned over said break back to everyone. My mission trip was definately an eye opener and hanging out with the people I hung out with just made it all the more better. *Takes Gai sensei stance*  
               To elaborate on the mission trip, I met amazing people that were and are still living on the streets of Boston. Yes, we did have our share of questionable people...alcholics, people who were high, but the majority are intensely nice people. Dahre, she's off the streets now, but the on the first day she came to talk with us seemed to be the perfect eye opener, as she explained everything to us, so we had a little foresight. For someone like me, foresight is everything, def. The next day as we actually started to work, everyone in the group started to bond in a way, and by saturday night (though we were like, literally passed out after the group reflection) I was friends with the guys on the trip.                                 Subponder- Code Geass, although it's an anime and rather made up, brings up and interesting point of Human Nature and how it works. As humans, we seem to gravitate for a reason in our lives, be it a goal to free a country or protect others, it's what we gravitate around. My Ponder- What if there was a character without a goal? Is there someone out there that has no goal in life and just floats around? Or would their goal be to not have a goal, and so on and so forth? I mean... even Anya Alstream- the pink haired spacy one- has a goal, which is to remember things reliably (won't get into that, for fear of Spoiler alerts) ((Yes, I've finished the series))
Oh well, I suppose I should work on those fanfictions before my subscribers kill me.
Laterrr~♥
Energy

 I don't know why, but I seem to be a magnet for...the oddities. 
I mean, I'm an oddity myself, but this is....
odd. 
I mean, I've had to save people from themselves for... three times this week. I know three people that have mental issues, and frankly, it's getting a bit alarming. 
I have issues of my own, and yet, I have no third party observer.
So that leads me to my main point...If I'm friends with the strange ones, and I see myself as a strange one, yet I am accepted into the regular (well, as close as regular as you can get in an all-girls school...) social order, does that make me the neutral, third party observer in fights and quarrels, problems and things?
Being myself, I can't help the fact that my third party observer is fifty miles away and very, very hard to reach, so does that curse, a geass of some sorts, fall on me? Am I now the neutral, no strings person to go to when things roll over and explode? 
Is that the reason that I fail to have any interaction with the opposite sex, because I'm meant to be a neutral helper of things?
Now that I think about it neutral isn't exactly the way to go about things... it's more like... I'm friends with everyone and due to my extremely guilty voice-in-my-head, very hard to piss off with your problems.  This is truly my curse, gift, blessing, geass if you will in the sense that it's now my job to listen when no one else will tolerate or hear. 
And belive me you I'm getting my ear talked off. 

But then there's the obligatory "Why me? Why can't somebody else listen to these people whine?"
And of course, tactfully, the little voice in my head goes, "Why the fuck not?"
and so, there it goes again with the ranting and the guilt and the need for a third party person.
But I digress.

The point is, someone has to be friends with the oddities and the ones that dare to be different (I know I am a dare to be different sort of person, but it seems like I'm not quite there. Or maybe I'm there, I'm not quite sure. Is it because I"m me that I'm so accepted, or is it because of the fact that I don't give a damn about much?)

Oh shit, I've angstballed too much. 
I'm going to be late for volleyball. 
Meh. *shrug*
 

Did you ever have one of those days where you just wanted to rip everyone's head off, but couldn't because there was this wall that somehow kept you civil and calm?
Well, that voice grew into a muse and that muse turned into a raving tempremental mage that wises to chuck fire at things when they spout stupidities.
Luckily for me and everyone around, said muse does not get out of my muse side often and is fueled into my writing.
However, recent events have thinned the wall between my muses and my concience, and I fear for my literary life.
For example, the list of my muses...
Mitsuki- Very, very, very short tempered. Obscene mouth. Hates idiots in all forms. Down to earth.
Korichira- Sensitive, good little muse that does what she's told and sits still. Allowed into my concience whenever.
Sei- Starting to form the self-control. Note- key word is STARTING.
Fangirl- Doesn't have a name yet. But all things in due time, I suppose.
Yaoi fangirl- Locked away, deep, deep inside my mind.

The only two muses allowed inside my actual brain are Mitsuki and Kori, Kori more than the raging dragon of obscene doom.

Anyway, back to the main point of this.
When mostly everyone mixes up grammar, whines about their life every second they're with me (not saying names)
It tends to get a little annoying...so let's see...
Am I really at fault for bottling up annoyance and anger?
Or is it bad to keep my aggression in? I haven't had volleyball for a long, LONG time.
I should put it in writitng, yes, which is where most of my NANOWriMO stuffs came from, but even still...
This isn't healthy....


Oh well...off to chinese homework.

再见！
さよなら！
Later!
_ENERGY_

Well, I've successfully written a novel, and gotten back to real life. However, here's how I wrote my novel without withering up and dying from exhaustion:

Non-"Dirty" tactics-
Wrote. Everyday.
Blew off homework (my history teacher was displeased. English teacher found it a riot)
Convieniently forgot about grammar (ex, rambling sentences)
Convieniently forgot about contractions.
Made sure to tell people to whack me on the head with a paper fan if I were to stop writing.
Made sure to stay up on weekends to write
Blew off socializing for a month, which really didn't do anything.
Gave everyone really long and sometimes confuseing conversations.
Mitsuki dislikes toast.

Dirty tactics:
Compound words? What compound words?
Song lyrics are my friend.
Quotes are my friend
Authors notes, everywhere (in the middle of sentences, about four pages of them at the end)

And so, to to a combination of all of these, I finished of at an even 50,010 words. Now that I've edited some, it's down to 49,800. *sob*
But that's ok, because I HAVE WRITTEN A NOVEL!
Teehee.
See you at the book signing. ;)
Energy

4,817 words so far. That leaves me 45,283 to go. :) If I keep going at this rate, I'll be at 10000 by wensday!
I've stopped at a very good pick up, as well, so I won't have writers block tomorow when I continue my novella escapades. So far I have a pretty good Idea of where I'm going and how I'm going to get there. There are a few plot holes right now, but I'm sure come December/January that those will be smoothed out. :)
Anyway, Homework waits for no wrimo, so I should probably get on that. XP

Wo Shi Xiang Mao....
Energy

One Sentence....ok...
A mage, illusionist, and knight form a rather dysfunctional team in the Shadow Kindom and adventures ensue.
That's the short, digested version so far.
I'm going to write more of it!
~Energy.

 Defining vocabulary is probably the most basic homework on the face of the earth. 
And to me, it's the most fun. Why, do you ask?
Because I can blatantly make fun of the terms and give my own spin on it. 
For example. 
Constantinople- a reason for my history teacher to wake me up in the middle of class with  word that sounds like my name. Also a really bad pun for a nickname. 
1453- This isn't even a word. He's asking me to define something that isn't even a word. 
Millet- that stuff my parakeet eats when we let him out and praise him. Tastes mildly like almonds, if I do say so myself.

In other words, I'm bored to death while I should be doing this homework but obviously, I'm not. 
Just a little homework help in a way, hopefully you can think back to this and hopefully not hand in your own, twisted version. Handed in Versions should be relatively normal and what the teacher is looking for. 

- :3 Energy